Awkward Response to my Awkward Uncooked Draft

I feel that I did a good job at explaining my point with decent wording but with a clear tone. I feel that I need to work on finding more evidence and finding more ways to expand upon my point being that my Awkward draft was too short to my liking. I plan on doing this by doing much more voyage out methods and freewriting to hopefully produce more ideas to use for the essay.

Metaphor:
My essay is like a twix bar
I'm missing something

Awkward Responses to Isabel and Ruslan's Draft

Isabel
Your center of gravity (or at least what I think it is) is the style of narration Yunior has. You describe him as one who doesn't get too deep or philosophical and tells the story how it is with no sparks or flares. From your center of gravity you go on to describe a specific scene from Drown where Yunior shares how he feels contradicting your previous statement that he doesn't share his feelings. You continue on to many other situations with Yunior and what we can learn from him from what he shares.

What I'm having trouble identifying is the "so what?". How does Yunior simple, straightforward storytelling affect it? I have a similar situation in my draft of where I make a statement but not a stance. What I want to know is why is Yunior's language this important.

Ruslan
Your center of Gravity is the multiple ways Diaz makes his story confusing/make more sense. You explain that methods that he uses such as flashbacks, withholding basic info, as well as the emotions of the personalities he creates are what makes his story confusing and secretive. You then continue on to explain how each of these methods make his stories confusing in their own way.

What I want to know more of is why might he do this? What might he get from making his stories confusing, and missing vital details?

My text exploration...

5/11/15 H.W. : "Break the Bridges to Build the City"

Questions I Have for Myself of my Author's Work
-If he were to read my imitation of his work how accurate would he consider it?
-What would Diaz think of the assignment as a whole? Respected that we're trying to model his style or offended for attempting to?
-The echoing themes that we find in his work in class, are they intentional or something we had just happened to notice?
-How does he create these stories? Does he go over the order of events from each metaphor and flashback or free-write it out?
-When writing this series of stories did he expect it to do as well as it did?

Passages I Found to be Hot Fyre
"He spent both nights with the Tunti people, resetting the trap and burning the blood and when he came back he was grinning and tired, his white hair everywhere, and my mother had said, You look like you've been out getting ass." (Aguantando 72)

Everything about this statement is great. From its descriptive length, to the language he uses to describe his Grandfather, to finally his mother's statement of his Grandfather getting ass. While being humorous and descriptive, it gives off what I would feel as a positive vibe coming from the family despite being in such troubling times which is something that I thoroughly enjoy. I also like the way he describes his grandfather because it gives me the satisfying image of a grinning, inventing, mad man. In terms of my story I understand that if I want to create and idea of somebody, I need to use details as almost pieces of a puzzle to fully exploit the intended image that I am attempting to create.

"He has his power of INVISIBILITY and no one can touch him." (No Face 155)

This is another one of my favorites from the story mainly because that it is from the point of view of Ysrael. It's also possibly the only story written in a third person view so in reality we don't really know who the narrator is. I'm not sure why I'm drawn to this statement but it is one that stuck with me even after reading the book. Perhaps it's because I enjoy the thought of Ysrael of having the powers of invisibility. It's sad because I can't find much more than I really like this statement and I don't know why.

An Awkward Letter to Junot Diaz

Dear Junot Diaz,
I thoroughly enjoyed your book despite having no condescending plot, and being a series of short stories, two characteristics of books that I dislike. I don't know why I like it as much as I did but I found it a pleasure to read. I'm drawn to your writing style (or at least more than I am to Maxine Hong Kingston) because I find that yours is more straight forward. I find Maxine's writing style to be too poetic to my liking to the point that I get her dreams confused with the reality she presents. And while you have metaphors in your book they are more subtle and therefore I find it to be more interpret-able as well as poetic. You also seem to be able to capture human nature of the characters in the book as if they were each you when you were younger.

30 minute Free-Write

The task here I guess is to find flashes of memory or whatever or something like that at least. Im not sure what to really write about or what really comes to mind first. My childhood wasn't really that eventful. Pretty average really. The same thing happened over and over again and no wild or exiting things really come to mind or that I find drawn to. I went to three schools before coming to bard. PS15, Grand Concourse Academy, and Ps3. One thing that really shaped me was that transition. I used to find myself to be sensitive. Too sensitive. As in everything bothered me or every insult whether serious or not I took seriously. Always looking for someone else's approval and always so goddamn arrogant. I hate my younger self with a passion. I like to think that he and I are two different people. Sometimes I wish I could do things over where I don't hate my younger self. Thinking about it there is one thing that comes to mind when thinking of my transition from the charter school to the public one. I was not ready for it at all. The maturity levels of kids in Public school are way higher than those in a public charter school. During my first weeks I was bullied pretty hard. Back then I took it pretty seriously but thinking about it now I probably deserved it. Hell, I would bully me too. There are things I wish I learned before going to a public school. Like how much the brand of your clothes mattered, or your hair cut. The closest definition I had of a shape-up were those sketchers shoe commercials I had seen the week before. One thing that sticks out to me most was when the question we had to answer was: If you were stranded on an Island list what five things you would bring? While some answered with common answers like food and water, others answered with oreos and kool-aid or something stupid like that. I, feeling like I HAD to prove how clever I was went with the smart ass answer of Solar panels, radio, communicator, and two other things I can't remember. From that day onward I was known as the asshole who brings solar panels to an island.

Assignments 3 + 4

3) I look out the window and see a drunkard swaying with every step, on the verge of puking. I remember back in college when my buddies and I would get smashed on rum and beer. I absolutely hated it, regretting every decision I made afterwards, and promising myself to never do it again to find myself at it the next week. But then again I wasn't driving so why not?

4) From a ginkgo tree I changed the subject out of the window into a drunkard. Like the ginkgo tree, I used this new subject as a point of nostalgia for the narrator for his time in college. In his objective correlative he describes his time in college seeming farther in the past than it really is and yet he is able to remember things that he had learned in it such as the ginkgo tree.  

Fiesta 1980 nts

Task 4

"'I am a female avenger.'"(Kingston 43)
"'Girls  are maggots in the rice. It is more profitable to raise geese than daughters."(Kingston 43)
"When I saw his startled eyes at my breasts, I slashed him across the face and on the second stroke cut off his head."(Kingston 44)

The first passage is how Maxine introduces herself to the Baron, the one she blames for the childhood that she didn't have despite creating her fantasy as a woman warrior. The second passage is the sexist statement that the baron states to Maxine right before he is executed. The third passage is how Maxine decides to execute the Baron after showing her back of all the people that he had wronged, and had killed him after staring at her breasts.

What I find surprising about this moment is how she decided to reveal herself as a woman in such an unsubtle manner what I expected was for her to let down her hair and that would be enough for the baron to believe that she was female to my shock she decides to tear off her shirt to what seems as if to exaggerate it. And while Mulan was never really shown brutally killing anybody in the ballad or in the movie adaptation, Kingston beheads him like and animal, and seems to use his sexist statement and his perverted action to justify what slashing his face and beheading him.

Throughout her Mulan inspired fantasy her actions show to be the exact opposite of Mulan. While Mulan is extremely cautious to not show any signs of womanliness Maxine seems to not care and shows multiple signs of it such as marrying a man, getting pregnant, and giving birth. This contributes to a point I made previously of Mulan successfully fufilling her goal as a man while Maxine fufilled her goal but as a woman. This is what she accomplishes by contributing this part. Her pride of being a woman and her little efforts of hiding it.

Draft (also in BETA)

Gabriel Hudson

3/10/15/////3/11/15

In Octavia E. Butler’s short story, “Bloodchild”, the author includes multiple scenes in the book that can easily be described as gruesome and mature. It is usually thought that whenever an author includes such scenes it’s for the sole purpose of having her readers cringe at the horror behind her words. Books such as the Goosebumps series or by the “King of Horror”, Stephen King, do their best to create a circumstance that sends the reader cowering under their bed sheets for safety.

And yet the horror within “Bloodchild” has an almost alternative effect. Despite its disturbing nature there is much depth found in the plot and the development of its characters. The complicated relationships between these characters is what makes this short story interpretable in multiple ways as well as easily relatable.  What about this novel allows such connections to be made with the characters?

The answer to this is found in the sickening sequences of the story. With both the reader and the main character sharing the same feelings of disgust and confusion the reader can easily relate to the character and can understand the reasoning behind his decisions.

Transitions:

1. Off the bat the reader is told about the close relationship he has with his sister, mother, and alien as well as the distant relationship he has with his older brother and the Terran relationship with the Tlic.

• This shows that this will be of importance
• Creates a backstory to look upon and view how these relationships may be changed

     2.  The inclusion of the Blood and Gore effects the relationship of the characters

• Changes the relationship between Gan and T’Gatoi(TG)
• Changes the relationship between Gan and Qui
• Changes the maturity of Gan (considers suicide)
• Creates a dire situation between Gan and Han
• Creates a relationship between Gan and the reader as both are in disgust with the pregnancy of Lomas

     

     3. The decision making is based upon the cruelty of the Blood and Gore

• The difficult decision of either accepting the pregnancy or passing it to Han (the reader can relate)
• Questioning of the intension of his decision. (To save Han? Or for the prideful reasons of not being like Qui?)

4. …………..

Conclusion: As we can see here the mature scenes of the books intensifies the plot and creates a new understanding of the main character on another level. While some may argue that relatability and character relationships don’t define the level of depth a book has ………………………

  

 

Text Exploration #2

            Text Exploration #2

In towards the end of the story T’Gatoi (TG) and Gan have an argument over who TG should impregnate as Gan debates within himself if he would be able to live comfortably knowing that TG’s maggots would be crawling inside her.

“Would it be easier to know that red worms were growing in her flesh instead of mine?”-pg 26

Wording/Syntax:  Gan calls the newborn children of the Tlic mere “red worms.” This shows the amount of respect Gan has for these children that no they are not valuable lives but mere red worms compared to the importance of his sister.

Word Definition: According to the OED the word easy is to be “At ease; characterized by ease or freedom from pain or constraint.”

Connection/Trouble: While it may seem heartfelt that Gan wouldn’t be able to live peacefully knowing that she bears the worms of TG this statement still seems somewhat problematic. Gan does this so that he could live easily but doesn’t consider how his sister would feel that he’s undergoing the pregnancy. While yes he only does this to put himself at ease that the pain his sister is going through won’t be his fault but he doesn’t actually consider what if she actually would like to bear TG’s worms instead of her own. I mean who would want to bring children in such a manipulative world their in?

Paraphrase: This is when the vicious scenes of pregnancy come into play and make this short story as intense as it was. With the reader cringing along with the main character on what he had viewed it doesn’t make it difficult at all to relate to him. To understand what you’re sacrificing for the sake of others.

Text EXPLORATION #1

Text-Exploration #1

The passage below is Gan’s reaction to witnessing T’Gatoi rip open Lomas to extract the young tlics (maggots) out of his abdomen. From this passage I am hoping to understand how the horror of the pregnancy affects Gan as a character and how it affects others.

“I knew birth was painful and bloody, no matter what. But this was something else, something worse.”- pg16

Wording: From the word “knew” we are able to conclude that Gan has had a previous idea on pregnancy and what he expected and what he didn’t. While he did have his own ideas on what it was they are thrown out the window when experienced first hand and has an obvious traumatic effect on him. From this we know that Gan actually had understood the concept of humans behaving as hosts for the Tlic’s. What we don’t know for sure is if he was aware that he was going to be the one to undergo the procedure.

Word Definition : According to the OED the definition of the word painful is, “causing or accompanied by mental pain or suffering; distressing, hurtful.” The word bloody according to the OED is, “Covered, smeared, or stained with blood; bleeding.” This was Gan’s previous idea of birth. But the book simply states that birth is painful and bloody which not only applies to the birth of Tlics but to the birth of humans as well.

Connection/Trouble : And yet by humans, the birth of humans is seen as beautiful while the birth of Tlics is seen as cruel while both births contain blood and pain. While Gan has understood that birth was as bloody and painful as this he seemed to be comfortable with the fact that it’ll be his sister undergoing the birth until after he viewed it. Therefore what are the teenagers like Gan showed in the diagrams and sketches that are used to describe the birth? Is understanding that your abdomen gets ripped open sounds as painful and bloody as it really is? (cause I’ve seen the walking dead and yes it really is.)

Syntax: “..something else, something worse.” From this statement we understand that Gan sees the concept of birth a new way beyond what he could’ve imagined and that can only be described as worse than what he had originally imagined.

Paraphrase: It is from this moment on where Gan understands the relationship of the Tlics and Terrans and begins reconsidering it. It is this moment that he describes the last night of his childhood as he questions what is he and his siblings to T’Gatoi and whether he should be the one to undergo the pregnancy.

Formula BETA

Question:What effect does the the blood and gore in the short story Bloodchild have on its story?

Status Quo: Stories that consist of mature scenes of blood and gore have the single purpose of simply disturbing the reader.

Trouble: While the story did have disturbing from the mature details, a lot of depth within the plot is found as well as a much different purpose for the mature sequences other than simply disturbing the reader.

Claim: The blood and gore in the short story Bloodchild has the sole purpose of intensifying the plot and creating an understanding of the decision making of the main character.

Exploratory Writing

Gabriel Hudson

3/6/15

Exploratory Draft

45 minutes

In Octavia E. Butler’s, Bloodchild, is the sci-fi short story of humans who live on a foreign planet with an alien race known as Tlics. Tlics breed humans to use as hosts to reproduce. Each Tlic is given to a family where a male is destined to become the host for the Tlic. Although it is fed to the whole family, the Tlics use eggs to impregnate the destined male (or rarely a female). These eggs are not only found delicious but have a drugging effect. The story is told from the perspective of a young boy named Gan. After seeing the horrible event that is the birth of T’lics he is given the choice of either accepting his position as the destined child or give his position to his older sister Han. Throughout the story are multiple instances of mature, gruesome, and disturbing scenes such as the where a host named Lomas is literally ripped open by T’ Gatoi, or when Qui describes the “worms” eating their way out of a man, or sipping the fluid out of alien eggs, or the blood that T ‘ Gatoi licks as she rips open Lomas and the possibility that she enjoys the taste, or the horrid thought of being cradled by a furry six long armed alien, and finally the graphic impregnation of Gan at the end of the story. The story is hands-down disturbing and is very obvious that it was the intentions of the author to make it so. But explaining these parts to someone who has never read it before, their first reactions are strangely confused. Why read such a story that has such a focus on blood and gore? Such a story has no benefit to you. It makes it much more difficult then to explain how in depth the plot is and the situations within it. With the mind already aware of the maturity of the story it becomes much harder to understand that such a story does have a deep meaning that can be found when looked for and instead of ignored due to the mature parts. Instances within the story where Gan changes his mind on whether having Han take his place as T’Gatoi’s host or the love hate relationship that is formed between T’Gatoi(TG) and Gan or even Gan’s consideration of commiting suicide creates moments of tension and feeling and the character of the charaters can be determined. These scenes have to have the blood and gore that they have to show what Gan is prepared to go through for his sister. This is why the author explains the tight relationship these two have in the beginning of the story. The story continues to have entire other dispute on whether TG is a hero or a villain, good or bad. Is she the villain of this story because of the heartlessness she has when extracting the worms from Lomas, or the licking of his blood to soak it up with the large possibility that she may enjoy the taste, or her commitment to impregnating one of the children not caring which one it is and possibly on the floor? Or is she simply a woman with the desire of becoming a mother, who understands the feelings of those who see the pregnancy, as well as takes responsibility for her new host, and still considers Gan’s family as her own family? It is these questions that can be asked after reading this story and can be debated upon. And so perhaps what may seem like the meaningless description of blood and gore is in fact very vital to the plot and it’s intricacy. And while it may not have the happy ending or the obvious moral at the end of it still is a short story with much depth within it as well as purpose.

Observations for: T.O.T.S.O.T.R.D.F.R.A

Notes

Reflection on Narrative

So far I am feeling very confident from the first semester since I do have lots of room for improvement. I now feel as if I have my own personal list on how not to fail literature. I've now begun getting more organized and created an online folder of which I will store all literacy work done. I've begun to get into the habit of beginning things early no matter how small the assignment is because the mini-essay, despite being small, took WAY more time from my weekend than I expected it to. My only question now is: "How will my first semester grade affect the grade my overall literature grade?"  

Body Paragraphs (DRAFT) Mark 1 ( IN NEED OF CRITICAL HELP)

    
Books and most forms off literature were banned as education became less and less prioritized and people became more and more interested with "pictures". With that in mind the only access to information were the walls which also became the main source of entertainment for the citizens of F.451. And with that shady, unidentified government of F.451 are able to spoon feed the citizens whatever knowledge they want them to believes. This accomplishes their goal of a Utopian society where everyone is like minded. This is easily seen when Mildred, Mrs.Phelps, and Mrs.Bowles come together to watch the brain washing walls. But what is also shown is the difference between those that either continue to read books or at one point actively read them and those that actively watch the walls. 

When Mildred, Mrs.Phelps, and Mrs.Bowles decide to meet together at Montag's house and watch the walls they all seem to almost be the same person. When Montag abruptly disconnects the walls as they're watching it they all seem equally disturbed and annoyed. When they decide to talk about politics to somehow satisfy Montag they have different views but are based upon the same standards of the appearance of politicians instead of their views or morals. When Montag begins to read "Dover's Beach" to them they all seem disturbed and troubled of the thought of even listening to literature. And as Montag does read they are all described to have the face of discomfort that their multicolored wall was now the shade of grey. And in the end they seem to have no actual insight of the poem which angers Montag to the point of insanity. It's as if they were programmed to only live for happiness and entertainment. They seem to not have any thoughts at all but they simply do, similar to the hound.