I feel that I did a good job at explaining my point with decent wording but with a clear tone. I feel that I need to work on finding more evidence and finding more ways to expand upon my point being that my Awkward draft was too short to my liking. I plan on doing this by doing much more voyage out methods and freewriting to hopefully produce more ideas to use for the essay.
Metaphor:
My essay is like a twix bar
I'm missing something
But Twix bars aren't missing anything they are the perfect candy.
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